Seven Ways to Pick Up Women in Bars

Written by: Darbrielle Thomas

How to pick up a girl in a bar? Don’t. Seriously. But if you are unable to listen to sound advice, from an actual woman, then here are seven ways you can attempt to pick up chicks at the local pub of your choosing!

1. Buy her and her squad drinks.

Look, you cannot be more “in there” than when you bite the bullet, **** up some commas, and buy a round of whatever her and her crew are sippin’ on. No one has the ability to turn down a free drink, especially when they’re feeling loose and feeling the mood of the party!

2. The Douche-Bag Relay.

Some of the greats have practiced this (well, in fictional circumstances…but, it still counts). You’re going to need two guys for this relay. First, your friend (or you, if it’s your turn this time around) approaches the woman you’re attracted to and attempts to turn her off. You can possibly turn her off by talking loudly, maybe burping, or being too forward. But, NO blatant disrespect – just get creative! But, guy #1, your sole purpose is to make yourself look like a complete jack***, so that your friend (guy #2) can swoop in and pick up the ball you (guy #1) strategically dropped. Be smooth, be kind, be the complete antithesis of guy #1, and, hopefully you can cross the finish line and land a first date.

3. Dancing

If the bar/lounge/pub of your choice has a dance floor, and she’s dancing and having a great time, dance next to her, read her body language. If it’s accepting and inviting and relaxed, enjoy a couple dances with her and let the night lead you two where it may.

4. Compliment her.

What??? There is a way that you can compliment a woman without being cheesy, over-bearing, gross, and creepy? *gasp* Yes. There is. Tell her how her hair accentuates the shape of her face, approach her, tell a joke to make her smile and tell her that her smile seemed to light up the dim bar/area that you two are in. This could be cheesy as well, but it’s all about your approach. Be cool and suave and guess what? She will be enthralled.

5. Ask her how her day was.

Chances are, if she’s in a bar, she’s either feeling really great or really bad or possibly masking her feelings with smiles and Patron shots. You cannot simply act like you care, however. Authenticity is always appreciated and noticed.

6. Drake

Let’s be honest, a lot of us can relate to the lyrics of the OVO founder, use some of his bars in chatting up women you meet. Get a feel for her rap savviness. Just don’t recite anything that will make her cry.

7. Just. Talk. To. Her.

The thing is, most guys can learn to read all the signals in the world and have friends that will make an ass of themselves just so that you can get the date instead of him. The truth of the matter is, is that people don’t converse the way they used to. The world is lacking pure conversationalists and that is what the dating scene is missing. With everything that is going on in the world in 2015, there is SOMETHING of substance to talk about. Just be respectful, and don’t be a creep!